


Deithwen

by UnrealRomance



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Being really good at it, F/M, Forced Marriage, Manipulating those trying use you, Minors DNI, Minors do not interact, Modern Girl in Witcher Universe, Scheming woman getting out of said forced marriage somehow, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22574299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnrealRomance/pseuds/UnrealRomance
Summary: Okay so I've rewritten Deithwen and it's totally different. Like even more totally different than my rewrites usually are.Belle is still Belle in personality-- but she's no longer a fighter. I felt like I was trying to hard to make her really kick-ass in a physical way and not focusing enough on how women can be deadly in other ways. So I'm gonna try it this way and see how it goes.As for those of you who've never read this before:Belle has no memory of even getting to this universe...dimension...world...sphere...thingy, but she does know it's dangerous here. And if people are pressuring her into something, she has to go with it and pretend to smile. Because she has no power here.Yet.
Relationships: Iorveth (The Witcher)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 75
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

I am definitely in hell.

"Oh I don't know about the lace; darling, what do you think?" My future mother in law turns to me and asks with a smile.

I simper through my disgust and rage. "Oh Mother, I think you're right. We should use silk, of course. It's all the rage now, isn't it? Silk wedding dresses with embroidery?"

She claps her hands together delightedly. "That sounds so lovely!"

Please tell me that in medieval times, it takes months to make embroidered silk.

"If you'll choose a design and color for the embroidery, we can have that finished in a month," the Dressmaker says.

Fuck.

"Oh I'd love some golden colored thread," I reply. "Something that will symbolize the happiness of my coming union."

I'm going to throw up.

"Yes wonderful, wonderful!" My future mother in law grasps my arm and shakes it in excitement. "Now choose a pattern dear, this is very important! It will represent your feelings about this marriage."

Jesus, I hate my life. "Umm…"

Thinking about it, I come out with the only possible design I can bear to think about wearing on my body.

"How about something to represent my role in the house?" I say with the fakest, most enthusiastic smile I can muster. "Like trees with little woodland creatures in it, representing the haven I'll be for my husband and his loyal men?"

My future mother in law crows with delight. "Of course, of course!"

I'd like to say that was the most eventful part of my day, but no.

Getting dragged into a dress shop, cobbler shop and hat shop all in one day to get a dress, pair of shoes and a veil commissioned makes me miss huge ass department stores and shops that sell everything together because it's all part of the same category of paraphernalia.

When I woke up in the infirmary of a Noble house, I thought that'd be the end of my interaction with them.

Didn't know where I was, didn't know what was going on, but everyone around me behaved like I should be thrilled for the man of the house to announce he was going to marry me.

For all I knew, I was in some kind of cult.

But then people started whispering and complaining about _nonhumans_ and suddenly I didn't feel all that confident in my estimation of where I was, anymore.

I had to go along with it all to get a lay of the land, figure out where I was and how to get out.

Unfamiliar places 101, you don't panic and you don't let on that you have no plans of going along with whoever is in charge. You smile pretty and pretend.

Oh sure, I put up the token resistance they expected me to give, that you'd expect _anyone_ to give. But after they'd ripped through my excuses for why I wasn't a suitable bride- I knew there'd be no dissuading the guy.

Which is a shame because he's a disgusting human being.

For here in this place and at this time, he's probably quite desirable and handsome. I have no problem with his face, for that matter.

But to a woman from Earth in the 21st century…he's gross.

Not only does he likely not bathe that often, judging from the smell he gives off- but he also is just the most misogynistic asshole you've ever met.

Someone who neglects hygiene and doesn't respect you is about as disgusting to me as crushing a beetle underfoot without shoes on.

You know it happens, you're afraid of it happening to you, but you still assume it likely never will or at least hope as much.

And now my mother in law to-be is dragging me around to plan my own wedding.

The least they could do is take care of the details themselves if they're not gonna let me say no.

Oh I'm not actually going _through_ with it- or at least, I'm not going to do so if I don't have to. And if I _do_ have to, I have plans for that as well.

Ain't no way in hell that man is _touching_ so much as my _hair_.

"Well Darling, I think we should be heading home. I'm feeling a bit peaked now and heavens knows how tired you are from such excitement!" my future mother in law says. "Let's just stop by the blacksmith's and check on the progress of your rings!"

"Yes, mother, of course," I agree vapidly.

I'm hoping if I'm boring enough, the guy will just eventually cast me off.

But maybe that's a bad plan, considering they seem to think this is _normal_ behavior for a young lady in this…god, what do I even call it? Universe, plane of existence, sphere?

So we walk down street after street after street and I start to feel a sneaking suspicion. Because the scenery around us changes gradually and it tickles something familiar in my mind.

My memories are hazy at best with most things, but this, this is…sharp. Something I remember but I don't know exactly what.

The quality of the houses degrades, the streets are dirtier and dirtier as we go.

So I'm guessing the street cleaners neglect more and more the further they get toward what I'm suspecting is the nonhuman district.

I haven't gotten to get out of the house without supervision, so I couldn't go around, exploring anywhere.

And the houses are degrading because they don't have the money for upkeep, like replacing splintered wooden boards and cracked stones.

We come upon a blacksmith's shop before long and future mother in law walks up to the counter and bangs on it. "Krevo!" she snaps. "I'm here to check on the progress for my daughter-in-law's ring!"

I flinch and make a miserable face without meaning to, snapping instantly back into happy-bride mode before anyone can notice.

"Keep yer twitter to yersel' ya beastly woman!" a Dwarven man walks out of a nearby alcove around the corner of the counter. "The rings aren't finished yet, and won't be for another two weeks!"

"I want to know how you're progressing!" she demands.

He snorts and flicks his fingers at her. "S'a lump of metal that's gettin' hammered and shaped and engraved- what more do ye need?"

"If it will be finished in two weeks, mother, that's long before the wedding, isn't it?" I ask in my most dull and sweet voice. "We should head home before sundown, we might worry my fiance."

"Oh of course you're right, my darling," she patronizes me with a voice like you'd address a child. Then turns to the dwarf. "It had better be ready before the wedding or I'll take my business elsewhere!"

"Just go ya daft git," he says before turning on his heels and disappearing back into the alcove.

My future mother in law huffs and turns, taking my arm to pull me along. "Such terrible manners. I should find other blacksmiths but really where will I find quality work better than dwarven-made? They all have such terrible terrible manners, my dear, really…"

She goes on like that all the way home.

I. _Am._ _ **In**_ _._ _**Hell**_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set a fucking reminder to go off on wednesdays and saturdays and it went off yesterday, I knew it went off and I STILL FORGOT TO UPDATE.

"Well, of course, I know dearest," I say through my teeth. "Having beauty and bearing beautiful children, those are…very important."

Apparently the fact that I'm so healthy, have unblemished, pale skin and my teeth are all not rotting out of my head means I must have such good genes I cannot possibly be passed up as a bride.

And those are the only reasons my new fiance Bradbert even wants me.

I am dying inside just thinking about having to be married to this man for even a moment.

"But I feel as though I should have something more to offer! After all I will be expected to speak to all your friends' wives, and your brothers' and cousins' wives and I think perhaps if I have more interesting things to talk about, it will reflect better on you, my joy." Oh god I'm gonna gag.

"My pretty flower of the isles," he says. "What you are expected to do is speak on needlepoint and paintings and perhaps even what poetry you like listening to." Because of course he couldn't say 'books you read' because women shouldn't read of course, oh god my entire insides are turning to acid. "What could you possibly need to buy that would allow you to speak more on these subjects? You must _do_ to learn these things, my dove."

He is the most terrible man ever, I swear to god. Not only is he disgustingly unhygienic but he also happens to be of the opinion that self-improvement is worthless and useless and that women should seek it even less than men should, and considering he thinks they shouldn't at all- well.

"But I don't want to just be another wife, I want to be _your_ wife," I say in a sickening tone of voice with a couple bats of my eyelashes. "And _your_ wife must be exceptional enough to make you stand out from the rest of the husbands with wives that talk about needlepoint and paintings and poetry."

There is literally nothing wrong with doing any of those things but because I've always been expected to do girly things, I've always hated them. And now that he's naming creative pursuits as being feminine instead of the things I've been used to, like housework and taking care of kids and shit- now I just hate that he associated creativity with femininity at _all_.

Those poor young boys who aren't allowed to needlepoint or paint probably unless they're bards, maybe. They must feel so alienated. And the little girls who don't like any of that and who just want to swordfight but have fathers who think that's ridiculous.

"What on earth could you learn that is appropriate for a woman's eyes," he says. "Anything else you could learn belongs in the realm of men."

"Oh but that is what will make me so special, of course, my dearest," I say, internally vomiting. "Learning about the things you do and being able to impress your friends with how well I know what you do, of course!"

He thinks about this for a moment, stroking his beard with gloved fingers. "I see, I see…you wish to show them how good a wife you are to me. I cannot deny you this simple request, my dearest dove. If it will please you, I will pay for an instructor in conversing on what men do and how they do it."

"Could I find the instructor myself?" I ask, batting my lashes again. "I'd hate to put you to too much trouble, and you're already going to pay for it, so I'd like to do something myself."

"Of course you can, my dove," he says. Reaching out to pinch one of my cheeks.

My cheeks that hurt SO MUCH from fake smiling.

I giggle insipidly and take the coin pouch when he proffers it, skipping out of sight and then immediately sagging before beginning my trip into town.

See it took a few days to sufficiently charm my new fiance into believing I really truly _adored_ him and then it took a few days more to slowly but surely make _him_ adore _me_ enough not to question me too much when I wanted something.

Considering I can't leave the estate without an escort, it'd be pretty damn hard to get a job and make my own money- aside from the fact that I have zero skills with which to work and _make_ said money.

Also my new fiance wouldn't like his new wife to be to have to work for anything so the only way to get said money I needed for my plans would be to ask for it.

And seeing as my plans are pretty sparse and I'd need a steady supply for whatever I may change my mind on- lessons from a teacher are just about the only thing I could think of that would require the amount of money I'd need for falling back on.

Of course I _actually_ need an instructor, and will be paying them all the money for what I need to learn- but if I suddenly decide to do something else, I can use that money.

I can especially use it if I _pretend_ to have lessons I never actually go to, and hide the money away somewhere or…I dunno, buy lots of expensive jewelry I can wear at all times when I think things might get dicey so I can just run and sell it for quick cash.

Lots of plans, not all of them tenable. I mean, what if I were robbed on the road and lost all my very obviously valuable jewelry? What if they took the coin off me?

What can I take with me that's worth money or at least can protect me and get me food?

So that's how I find myself, finally, after an hour of asking around and searching…in front of the door that will lead to a man who can teach me to Hunt.

And I mean all aspects of the hunt. The bow, the knives, the tracking, the stealth. It's something I need to know, need to learn. And quickly.

"What!?" a tall, older elf- and I can only tell because a shock of his hair is gray instead of coal black like the rest- opens the door when I knock.

He checks himself when he sees an apparently high-born lady in front of him. "What is it?"

"I'd like to hire you for a job," I say.

His eyes harden a little. "And what job is that?"

"Tutor?" I say. "Teacher? I'm not really sure of the official title, but you'd be teaching me."

"And what exactly can you not learn from any human instructor in town?" he asks.

"How to fight smart instead of hard. How to earn dinner in a way that doesn't wreck the environment. How to track prey and stay out of sight." I roll my eyes. "All the men in this town seem to be good at is waving swords around and while swords are hella cool, I can't really use one. I _can_ however, somewhat use a bow."

He seems a little surprised at my lengthy explanation.

"Also, human men tend to think of women as baby-machines and think they should do nothing else. Elven men, respect women, don't they?" I'd seen a lot of women in the Scoia'tael, at least. "At the very least you let them learn these skills. And any man in town willing to teach me might also be willing to tell my _fiance_ about it and I'm only _supposed_ to be getting lessons on how to _converse_ about hunting."

The surprise and confusion in his eyes is a little delicious. I'm not gonna lie. "…why would you tell me that?"

"Because now you have power over me," I reply. "You know I don't want my future husband to know. If you don't want to do this job, you can say no and you have insurance that I won't hurt you in some way."

His very slight but sharp inhale as I speak is noticed but I forge on.

"Also if you _do_ decide to teach me, you now have very good odds that I don't want to piss you off enough to just outright tell him anyway," I say. "You don't have to decide today, but please get back to me within the week. I'll be at the Tavern every night around six, and then I'll be looking for someone else. It'll be hard to find them, but that's not your problem."

And then I leave, because I know I've just confused the shit out of that guy and he needs time alone to think.

I'm pretty sure he's still standing in his doorway looking like someone just slapped him with a carp even as I enter the Tavern down the street.


	3. Chapter 3

It started out innocently enough on his part.

Bradbert would call me pet names and talk at length about how beautiful and healthy I was and how we'd have beautiful and healthy children - gag me with a spoon - but it never went further than that.

Until about halfway into the month.

I'd been training with my new teacher for two weeks or just about that long- and my 'fiance' just…suddenly started edging closer.

Taking refuge in the hut of an Elven man would not only paint a target on my teacher's back, it would create rumors that would damage my reputation. And while _I_ don't give a fuck about that, my new 'husband' and mother-in-law-to-be would likely punish me somehow for my actions and lock me in somewhere or something.

So I found an alternative approach.

"I am so glad you decided to join us, my darling," my future mother-in-law simpers. "Needlepoint in the parlor simply isn't as fun by yourself or with a small group."

She's got two other older ladies and one younger woman- I think she's my future husband's cousin.

"I'm so terribly glad to be here with you," I say and beam brightly through my sick feelings. "And I'm so happy that my new family and I will share something, even if I am not…very good at needlepoint."

"Oh you'll learn, my darling," my future mother in law pats my hand holding the frame steady. "Bradbert couldn't have picked a more beautiful and agreeable young woman. I didn't think you would be suitable at first, but you obviously have some noble blood in you somewhere and you're quite teachable."

God, I hate women who oppress other women-

"Yes, well." I giggle and toss my hair to hide the fact that I'm grinding my teeth. "I think perhaps its best if I stay with you and Bradbert keeps his distance for now. Can't have untoward rumors flying around about us, after all. We're a proper couple."

"Yes, darling, you absolutely are!" she agrees and smiles brightly at me. "Don't you worry, I'll keep you so busy, you won't miss him for a moment."

Ugh, but also, thank god.

If his mother is aware that I'm worried about rumors and shit, she'll be a lot more likely to keep a look out and 'chaperone' us at every available opportunity. Which means I won't be left alone with him for more than a handful of minutes at a time.

And if I ever am, I can just tell him his mother is going to be cross with him if he damages either of our reputations. He's very firmly a mama's boy which wouldn't usually be a bad thing? Except that it's the creepy kind.

The kind where he's basically still a toddler around her. _God_ , I hate that.

Just loving your mom or dad isn't wrong, or bad, even as an adult. Even if you're super close. But turning into a child every time you see them means you've got a really fucked up relationship.

I'm only glad this relationship exists because it's saving my ass from being groped. Or worse. I wouldn't put rape past any of the men in this place. In a time when women are property and only considered worth anything if they're pretty and… 'teachable'.

"Did ye hear about that nasty business out in Vergen?" One of the women says with a whispery tone. It's as loud as speaking normally but apparently volume isn't what she's worried about. God forbid it not sound sufficiently dramatic.

My heart is pounding.

"Oh the expulsion," another one says. "I heard about that. Those damned Elves killed nigh on fifty men, didn't they?"

"The Scoia'Tael?" I ask carefully. "Whatever happened to them?"

"Got chased out of the territory by the Blue Stripes, I heard!" one of the cousins preens. "My nephew's in a Temerian strike force, you know? Not the Blue Stripes, but they work closely with all the big names in Temeria."

I'm sure.

"Did the Scoia'Tael die or just run away?" I ask. Making my eyes wide and my tone curious.

"Pretty sure they and their commander ran for the hills," the first to speak speaks again. "My husband says they took out so many men on their way- it was so unnecessary! Half those men weren't even in their direct path!"

' _Unnecessary? You were chasing them out of yet_ _ **another**_ _home, of course they fucking killed as many of you as they possibly could._ '

It makes me sick just to think of how many Scoia'Tael died because they were so angry they kept going out of their way to look for fights.

How betrayed and helpless they must've felt…

"What about Saskia, wasn't she their ally?" I know she wasn't prepared to defend them, but helping to chase them out is a whole other story- I hated her either way, but. "Did she help?"

If she did this, I _will_ kill her.

"Pff," my future mother in law scoffs. "The 'virgin of Aedirn' wasn't going to abandon her borders to chase a few Squirrels. But she didn't give them succor, I suppose credit must be given for that."

Oh it most certainly _should_.

' _I'm comin' for your scaly ass, Saskia. And it_ _ **will**_ _hurt._ '


	4. Chapter 4

Took me a few days to figure out _how_ exactly to get control over the servants, but I finally managed it.

"Oh I'm so glad you're taking _initiative_ , my darling!" my future mother-in-law fairly squeals. "Now, I know you're new to the running of a household, but surely you had some experience in your home before? A young Noblewoman is always taught how to handle her servants."

"I was actually given the servants after mother became ill," I lie in a convincing fashion. I know it's convincing because I practiced it last night until even I was kind of convinced that my mother had died after becoming tragically ill. "Father insisted that if she were to die, it would become my responsibility until he could find another wife to run the house."

She claps her hands excitedly. "Wonderful! I must simply tell Bradbert about this, he needn't worry one bit."

"Yes, how wonderful that he can now focus on…what is it that my fiance does?" I ask. "No one has been able to tell me. I ask and everyone goes somewhat quiet."

"Ah well," she pats my shoulders and smiles. "That isn't something for you to worry about."

God damn fucking-

"Oh but I must!" I reply in the most sickeningly-sweet way I can. "If my husband does some sort of labor, then I should have something relaxing for him when he comes home. Like a hot bath and a massage. If it is instead a job that requires much thinking, then I should find herbal blends that might rejuvenate the mind!"

"What a wonderful idea, my darling," she leans down to hug me, shoving her cheek into my hair.

I'd shudder if I didn't think she'd notice.

"Now, I must go and tend to our Bradbert and see if he requires any assurances about your skill with the servants. They are gathered in the kitchens, my dear. Go on," she smiles and makes a shoo-ing motion before leaving.

' _Don't think I didn't notice you_ _ **not**_ _answering my question you-_ '

I've had to have that woman up my ass just about twenty-four-seven to keep my _fiance_ from coming anywhere near me.

Now that she's left me alone and gone in search of him, they'll be together and I won't have to worry about _either_ of them for a bit.

But I have no idea how long I'll have.

So I look at myself in the bureau mirror one more time- my slightly curled hair as fetchingly arranged as my future mother-in-law could possibly make it.

I run my fingers through it until it looks as fetching as _I_ can make it- and then I leave. Wrapped in a silky dress of many layers that is going to be _wayyy_ too hot to wear all day.

Retreating to my room at the hottest part of the day to lie in bed naked and sweaty seems to be an approved noblewoman pastime.

At least I don't have to fight anyone on it.

I am _caked_ in old-timey make-up, though. Well. Something that looks like it, anyway. I substituted the probably lead-filled make-up in my room with other stuff when I first got here and _she_ started talking about me getting used to wearing cosmetics again and I just _knew_ I had to do something to cut that off at the pass.

Funny enough there's cheaper alternatives- and you can't really tell the difference. Nobody will know but me.

I bought a lot of things from that herbalist lady that I'll need. I made sure I was in disguise, though. Can't have anybody reporting on my activities if they're watching for me around town. Just…need to stay under the radar.

Leaving my room and walking down the hall- I find myself a bit turned around when I hit the huge foyer.

' _Which direction was the kitchen?_ ' I wonder and wander around until I find a servant scrubbing the floors.

"Excuse me," I say.

She glances up and sits on her haunches as if to give me her full attention. "Aye, milady?"

"Where's the kitchen? I'm all turned around," I say with a slight smile.

Her long-sufferingness is obvious to anyone paying attention but from the way she smiles and gets up immediately, even though I can tell her back is stiff- says that they don't usually bother around here. She puts on a slight smile, does what they want, and nobody notices anything.

"Some ginseng tea might help with your joint pain," I say as she leads me toward the kitchen.

Glancing aside at me as we walk, she replies, "I take a bit every mornin'."

"Maybe you're working too much, then," I say. "Hard labor is bad on the joints. I should talk to my fiance about that."

"Oh don't pay me no mind," she says.

I detect a slight uptick in her tone as if she's frightened.

"Alright, if you insist," I reply.

She relaxes at that point.

It's then I realize that servants unable to do their jobs are probably fired. So asking to dial back their work volume would just end up getting them all booted.

This is why I test the waters before actually doing anything. I need more information.

"Here we are, milady," she gestures at the kitchen and walks off after I turn my back on her.

I've noticed you have to do that before they'll leave or otherwise you have to actually _say_ 'dismissed' or something and…well, I don't like having to say that, so I just turn my back and it seems…more polite?

The servants in the kitchens haven't taken notice of me yet as I walk in the back.

They're running around, preparing something. It can't be dinner, that's hours away. And we just had lunch like an hour ago. Probably a snack for somebody in the family.

"Something you needed, milady?" one of the servants asks after finally noticing me.

I smile. "I just wanted to talk to whoever's in charge of the Kitchen staff."

"That'd be me," a tall and gangly woman steps up to me. Elven, scarred chin and muscular in some places but mostly really thin. "Something I can do for ye, miss?"

"Well…I was told by my future mother-in-law that I'd have control of the servants in preparation for my wedding to Bradbert," I say slowly. "But back home, the servants ran themselves better than anyone else. So I wanted to discuss a system of apprising me of activity but not needing my approval for lower level decisions. So that you can run the kitchen how you like, but we also get a say in what is made and how."

There's a lot of staring.

People have stopped working just to stare at me.

"You don' want to run the day-to-day operations?" the head…chef? asks me.

"No, I wanna give you guidelines within which to work and then _you_ get to decide which matters require my attention. Say, things that you're afraid might end up backfiring and getting you blamed. Or things that require a certain depletion of assets that you're not certain you can authorize all by yourself." I shrug. "My guidelines themselves are mostly common sense. Wash your hands before and after every dish and definitely after you've used the…lavatory? Is that what it's called here? Where I'm from we just say bathroom."

"Aye…" she replies. Like I'm speaking gibberish. "And what happens when someone looks in on us and notices you aren't 'round?"

"You tell them I just left after looking over your workstations," I reply. "And make sure not to do anything that you don't report directly to me so that I can cover for you if something goes sideways. Er, wrong."

Lot of staring now.

"See, I'm of the opinion that when given the reins, most people behave a lot better and with a lot less bitterness than those who've been forcibly controlled," I say. "But it goes without saying this would have to stay between us. And that if my future mother-in-law found out I did this, it could be very bad for me."

Glances are thrown around and hey maybe I should've told the head chef lady alone and not made a semi-public spectacle of this, because Bradbert and his mother might both have spies in the servants who watch people for them at their discretion.

But if it means a loosened leash, will they really rat me out? Will they not want to see where this goes first and whether or not it improves their quality of life?

I don't know, and I have to find out. I have to find out who I can and can't trust, also. Anyone going to my mother-in-law to be and my fiance will probably be seen or heard by the others. And if they're motivated enough to get in my good graces, maybe they'll let me know who and when and why.

That information will be _vital_ to this whole operation.

So either I make friends and allies while uncovering possible enemies or everything goes off without a hitch and everyone loves me and my leadership style.

Either way, I'll win eventually.

"Well," she says. "We'll just see how long it takes you to come back and take control, then. Won't we?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very personal and public apology to candlewhacks whom I offended. Enjoy the early update of one chapter I was able to finish on the story you liked.
> 
> I am terrible at people-ing just in general but lately I've felt very off-- sick but also emotional? So I tend to do and say things I wouldn't normally because my filter is even more off than usual.
> 
> I am very sorry that I hurt your feelings. I know what it's like when somebody you try to talk to reacts in a way you feel was unfair or tactless so I am doubly sorry for making you feel the way I often do when talking to people.

Being in charge of the Servants but allowing them to tend to their own duties means I have a lot of free time that is not expected by my family to _be_ free time.

Meaning that my fiance and future mother-in-law don't look for me at certain times of the day.

Still have to keep up the charade and go to sewing circle or whatever fucking activity the Matriarch of the house wants to do that day.

But when that's done, I am free. Free like the wind and free like a bird.

So of course, I step up my training, but not only that.

"I've always wanted to know how to use a bow," one of my servants speaks reverently as she caresses the very plain but also very sturdy bow I'd bought for us to practice with. There's actually two of them, and we'll have to take turns, but it's the first one I'd bought, just for me.

I had to be incredibly careful about buying them, too. Can't have anyone linking the purchases back to me.

There's four of us at a time, in all, every day. I found sixteen of the most trustworthy people I could- meaning, the people I could pay to keep it secret.

Now for four days a week, I cycle through until everyone's gotten a weekly lesson. They can't do more than that- as their days off only coincide with the days they train.

Doing anymore than this would raise suspicions and get everyone caught, so I have to be damn careful.

"Your parents never taught you?" my instructor asks her.

She looks down sadly at the bow and fidgets with it. "They thought it best I seem…nonthreatening."

"You can know how to kick ass and just not tell anyone about it," I say. "Which is what we're doing now, so have fun and I'll see you guys later."

I turn on my heel and walk off.

"You aren't staying to train?" he calls after me. Used to my abruptness but still clinging to polite formalities with all he's worth.

"I will next time!" I say and wave as I go. "I've got something important to do today."

The woods are a mysterious place, even this close to the town.

Which is good, cause it means no humans come around this place. As a usual standard, they tend to just…stay in town or go along the roads. With guards.

The Scoia'Tael have them all scared even though they're currently in hiding. You never know what someone might do when they're desperate, right?

As for me, I have my teacher bring us to a different place in the forest every time we train for one very specific reason.

I bought a golden Brooch the other day with my soon to be mother-in-law and I want to leave it in the woods.

Oh it's not _just_ golden. It's also covered in semi-precious jewels, but the gold is where the money really is. I bartered her down from a diamond-bedecked…whatever the fuck it was and got this instead. It made me seem thrifty, demure- and gave me something an elf might actually manage to sell without getting arrested for burglary.

An elf could conceivably buy something like this- even though it's somewhat expensive, there are some with good businesses. And of course they can say it's a family heirloom or even that their employer couldn't pay them in coin for whatever reason.

Or hell they could just fence it to somebody shady who'd use it to _do_ something shady and everybody wins.

It's already in a cotton-packed pouch and I'm just…waiting…till I get out of range of Kineth and the servants.

When I'm far enough away and I have total privacy, I take out the pouch, wrap a squirrel tail around the top and tie it shut.

A human finds this and sees my stuff in it, they'll think it's stolen and was to be left for the Scoia'Tael, which would be a problem and I'd have to act to protect my servants- but if a Scoia'Tael finds it, hopefully they'll know the intent behind it.

I've had to buy lots of whole squirrels in disguise just for the tails. Found some books on alchemy and herbalism to try and use all the parts for something.

The meat was given to the servants after training so they'd have something to snack on while they walked back home with me but everything else I had to sell to the local alchemist- aside from the hide.

I'm using _that_ for something _very_ special.

And the extra coin I got _for_ selling the squirrel bits is going into the next pouch.

The only place I could think to leave them where animals and monsters couldn't get to, but Scoia'Tael'd probably be able to find, is like…in trees.

So I have to scope out nearby trees until I find one with a hollow in it and then climb my ass all the way up there, shove it inside- make sure enough of the tail is peeking out that an Elf would see it and investigate but not enough for a _Human_ to go looking and see if there's a squirrel up there…

All in all, it takes a grand total of maybe twenty minutes but it's a very arduous, very frightening twenty minutes- as a lot of the time, it's up pretty damn high.

After that's done, I just kinda spend the time waiting for training to be over by gasping for air, letting my heartbeat return to normal and maybe walking a lap or two while stretching out my arms and back.

Working out other parts of your body is always good, even if you don't think you'll specifically _need_ those muscles, strengthening them, strengthens the other parts of you that are doing the tasks you need the other muscles you're training for.

It's very weird and the human body is very fucked up- especially mine, considering how sedentary my life was before all this…

And now I have a little bit of time to kill before we have to go home, so…why not take a stroll along the riverbank?


	6. Iorveth POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO I could update this wednesday!!!
> 
> All your comments are really helping to keep me motivated when all I feel like doing is being a tired, depressed lump. Thanks, you guys!

It isn't every day you come upon a group of young elves in the wood, training under the careful eye of an old _Scoia'Tael_ who left the service. But when you see it, it warms something in your chest. As if you know, even if we end, our teachings will live on and perhaps that will be enough.

But as per usual tis overcome with the bitter sting of wondering _why_ you are mulling over your own destruction as if it is a pure given.

My people may not be many, or very strong at the moment after so much fighting…but that does not make us dead.

"There's a human," one of my men hisses. "Walking away from them. Should we kill her? She might report on their activities."

There's a shifting, a rustle- and we are moving through the trees to keep pace with this human.

She walks without fear. Humming to herself, and it is obvious if she knew the Elves were there and knew that they were doing something they were not supposed to- she would be quieter. Elves may not hold much power, but murdering one human for seeing something they shouldn't…

It would not be hard.

Getting closer, we subside into silence, watching her every move.

Her clothes are much too fine to be mucking about in the woods. _That_ is a noblewoman.

And then she does something entirely unexpected.

She climbs up into a tree and leaves a pouch with a squirrel tail tied on it- in a tree hollow.

…the old man back in the clearing must have taught her that.

If it means my men can eat and treat their wounds tonight, I won't even muster the energy to be irritable about it.

When she has gone on her way, I send someone to collect it.

He returns with three bags. "There were two others in range of that one, all with squirrel tails. All set somewhere only we'd see them. Not someone from below."

So she's been doing this for a while, has she?

"Let's see them," I reply. Reaching out a hand and grasping one, I pull it close and open the drawstring, expecting Copper or perhaps silver if she is especially generous.

Instead there are small knick-knacks made of gold, silver, some with gems embedded in them.

I tilt my head at the strange collection of hairpins and rings. "What in…"

"They're probably gifts from her family," one of the women in my unit settles on the branch next to me as I hold one up. "If she never wears something they gave her, they may not notice so long as she keeps a few trinkets and wears them about- but if they keep giving her money and she keeps losing it, that's suspicious. It's also easier for us to sell these than it would be if she'd just dropped gold or silver coin in there. Elves aren't supposed to have that much money. But showing up to a fence with stolen jewelry? That's common enough. No one will even think anything of it."

Aye…we trade these bits to a fence for what we need and no one will be able to trace us as _Scoia'Tael_.

"Find out who she is," I say as I close the small sack and tuck it away, gesturing for the rest. "Then find me someone who can buy us food and medicine in exchange for one of these ridiculous bejeweled hairpins."

She nods and climbs down the tree, sneaking through the brush toward the town.

Her name was…what was it? She joined after…after. Cianne. That's it. Cianne has been with us for a few months. I tend to forget the new ones for a bit before I'm used to them. Not their faces, just their names.

I suppose I really am getting old. Much before any others of my kind, in fact. My hair isn't gray as a _dhoine's_ would be and I have no wrinkles, either. No one would be able to tell by looking at me, how worn down I am.

How it pains me to continue to exist, every moment.

I cannot fathom how my elders managed to live to a thousand years old in days past, though…I suppose they did not have to contend with _them_.

What would I be doing if this were before the convergence? Before I was born, when Elves ruled the world and _dhoine_ did not yet exist to us?

Imagining myself as a farmer or some other menial laborer is so difficult as to be impossible. Perhaps a bodyguard to a rich noble Elven woman. Protecting her from the usual monster fare and perhaps a criminal or two.

Imagining myself a noble is just as impossible, so I suppose I had to meet myself in the middle with that fantasy.

"What do you think it means?" my lieutenant asks. Appointed after Ciaran passed.

"The Noblewoman leaving offerings?" I ask. "It means nothing. She is likely attempting to curry favor with the old one in the clearing. Humans cannot tell age on Elves and we are all beautiful. He is likely using it to his advantage to aid us. This same story is told everywhere."

He nods a bit sideways. "But if that were the case, wouldn't she do it in front of him? To show him what she's doing so he'll be impressed?"

I shrug and shake my head. "I'd rather not dwell upon the many possibilities, if it's all the same to you. We must get that food and medicine and get back to camp. Too many of our wounded are dying."

Should never have trusted that Dragon. I thought it only _Dhoine_ that I needed be wary of, but as it turns out, other nonhumans will sell you at as quickly as _they_ will.

It was not a pleasant lesson to learn.

…at least I still have Geralt, I suppose. For what _that's_ worth. He availed me of Saskia's looming betrayal, but I did not believe him.

Still made _plans_ of course. I had already felt…something.

But because I did not believe, more of my people died.

"Cianne's back," one of the men whispers.

I realize I have been drifting for some time.

We take off through the trees, following her path as she walks below us.

And now to tend to our fallen many with our hardy few.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so...he's in rough shape.


	7. Chapter 7

The wedding's _tomorrow_ and I've run into a snag in my plans.

At first I just wanted to escape, but then I realized there were reasons I couldn't just leave.

Firstly because my husband-to-be is a powerful man who thinks he deserves the best in life. If I disappear without warning, he'll think me either kidnapped or disobedient. And that's a recipe for a search party if ever there was one.

Not only that, but I'd be damn pressed to escape in the first place. Guards everywhere, servants watching me even if they're kinda on my side at this point. The cook in the kitchens is glad to have breathing room, but if that'd afford me any kind of clemency in their eyes from trying to escape what they saw as my 'responsibilities'…well, that's all up in the air.

So I figured I should stay until we're married and then just kill the douchebag.

But if anyone suspected it was me, and someone no doubt _would_ \- I'd be in even worse trouble than I would've been if I'd just tried escaping.

Which gave me the idea to search out a nearby herbalist's shop and get some intermediaries to buy supplies for me, in exchange for coin. They never see me, it's a dead drop kind of thing- but I'm still cautious when I go out to leave their payments and instructions.

I wear dirty, bedraggled clothing and cover my head and face with a hood and scarf.

At that point, I felt pretty good about my chances of getting away with it, but I realized I'd have to stay and take over the place-- otherwise suspicion would fall on me for running. So I set about making alliances with the servants and a few guardsmen who weren't totally _blegh_.

And now I'm all set! Except for one small detail.

Apparently in order for marriages to be considered valid, you have to consummate them. A doctor would have to check me over for a broken maidenhood- not a problem -and evidence of my lover's leavings if I wanted to pull off the whole 'he died in the middle of it' schtick.

Yeah, I'd either have to actually have sex with the guy or find some way to simulate it that would fool a medieval-type doctor.

Usually I wouldn't worry but I think someone caught on to my…er…interest in botany. So I stopped all the dead drops and decided I'd have to get what I need elsewhere.

Which means tomorrow morning, I'm going to the Brothel and asking for that one guy they have on their payroll who does 'under the counter' type stuff and paying specifically for…stuff. I can't even think the word when it's not a sexy context, it's like weird to contemplate this.

Call me immature but any words I use for what I'm about to do will either sound clinical and goofy or sexy and gross and I don't want either option.

Release? Yeah I find that clinical enough but not at all sexy. Perfect.

Basically, I have to pay him to give me his release and nothing else. It's okay so long as I still go in disguise and tell him I have a fetish I like to indulge privately. That could mean any manner of things.

Hell for all he knows, I wanna _eat_ it- and I don't think people wanna ask questions about kinks they haven't the foggiest about just in case it squicks them.

And then the real problem will be making it look like I lost my virginity _that_ evening. So I'd have to get some blood and mix that in a bit. And it'd help if it looked like I was swollen or something.

I am _incredibly_ uncomfortable with ALL of this, but if I'm going to get through this with my head intact, I have to execute this perfectly.

Maybe I should get it tonight. It doesn't really matter when I get it- in fact, the more time it's got to lie there and be inert, the less likely it'll be fertile at the point I put it anywhere near my body. I'm gonna take anti-pregnancy herbs, just in case because you never know but…

God I really don't want that anywhere near me and I don't want anyone looking at my tender parts that I didn't invite there, but survival…nnnnn.

I hate being stuck in this place where I have to either give up my personal freedoms or die. I really do. I feel very bad for all the Elves who live in this house who've probably been in my position more often than not. And the Dwarves out in the nonhuman district who have to cater to humans or let their businesses fail.

To feel this awful all the time, I just…can't imagine how you'd get through it.

I have to use this somehow to make things better for them. Even if I have to be careful, to keep myself from getting caught. Even if I have to make concessions on certain things to make it seem like I'm resistant.

A part of me keeps repeating that I just…can't be like Saskia. Who used people she thought could further her cause and then threw them away.

Another part is picturing two different Scoia'tael commanders. One that lingers no matter what I do. No matter where I go.

Watching as I enact my plan and wondering… 'are you going to use that power like any other person would in your position? To accrue wealth and stomp on the necks of everyone different from you?' and I can't be that person.

Remembering my mother, my father, my step parents on both sides- everyone in my fucking family who would rather believe in a fantasy reality where they were the victim and everyone beneath them on society's ladder rungs were the reason why they had it so bad.

It makes me ill. I don't want to be like that and I don't want to allow _others_ to be like that without consequence, either.

I have to do this not just for myself, but for anyone else like me or different from me who needs help and won't get it.

And for the Scoia'tael who were thrice betrayed and their leader…whom may be alive or dead.

Because I admired him, because I saw his struggle as one worthy of respect.

…because I loved him. In whatever limited capacity you think people can love other people they're pretty sure aren't real.

And wherever he is, I want to be the kind of person he can respect.


	8. Chapter 8

All things considered…it was a terrible day.

He's dead, I have the house…but all the things I had to do to get it.

Lining the tester's goblet with antidote to the first half of the poison just to be completely sure nobody else got hurt for my plans.

Luring my new husband into bed with the promise of a sensual massage, that I presaged with some chocolates that had the second half of the poison in them.

It was a two-part poison that…sort of reacted when mixed? He drank vial number one all night as I poured for him from the same bottle of wine, the best in the house. And refused to share with anyone but that first goblet with his tester.

He'd been doing that at nearly every dinner since I got here, so I knew the wine was the way to go.

And then after I'd fed him all the chocolates and had finished internally gagging at the way he tried to lick chocolate off my fingers, I set him on his front and rubbed his back until he started to spasm. At that point, it was a race against time.

I had to have him still warm when they came to see his dead body- but I also didn't want to smear the stuff all over him while he was still alive.

So when his eyes no longer held light, I did what I had to do, and then I screamed. I screamed so loud and so much that eventually a servant opened the door tentatively and I know what they thought they'd find.

They thought he was raping me and I was screaming for help or something- and they'd have had to ignore it. Go on and pretend they hadn't seen it. And as much as that sickens me, I know they would've had no other choice. That or death because they couldn't keep their nose out of their employer's business.

The servants here have families, and people who depend on them- if they suddenly go missing, their children would have no one left. Their wives or husbands would spend the rest of their lives alone. Their siblings would feel even more hopeless than they had before…

So when the serving girl cracked the door and saw me on the floor across from the bed, sobbing because I'd just had to smear gross anonymous release all over myself and a dead man- she cottoned on pretty quick that something bad had happened and disappeared down the hall, shouting for the guards.

And after that, it was just one playact after another, though…I did show some genuine discomfort while being examined and afterwards when my mother-in-law came to see me and we cried together.

Not because he was dead, of course- but because I had to go through this whole charade to kill him and save my own life in the process.

It was so draining, I ended up passed out not that long afterwards and I woke up in bed, cleaned up and dressed in a nightgown.

There were little snacks left on the bedside table and a tall glass of cool water- and I wondered for a moment whether that was the doing of my mother-in-law or my servant friends.

Well obviously it had to be the servants either way. A noblewoman wouldn't fix a bunch of snacks and pour a cold drink when she could have someone else do it.

Knowing what awaits me in the very near future, I shiver and curl up tighter in the blankets.

There'll be the demand for me to find another husband- and because in-breeding is a thing in most noble societies of the past, my mother-in-law might try to set me up with a brother or cousin of her beloved son.

That is _not_ happening. But in order for it not to happen, I have to prove capable enough to handle the estate on my own…

And I'll have to really play up the 'I was in love with my husband' angle so I can have a mourning period buffer.

First things first will be enacting the move.

I already spoke with all the people who work for me, and they think it would be much more convenient if they could live closer to the estate they work in.

Also it will be safer, because if they live on Estate grounds- I'll be able to protect them from random townsfolk. But I'll have to completely change the guardsmen out for someone who wouldn't take advantage of their position of power or leave their posts and…

Then I'd have to actually pay like a hundred people to move all the stuff and build the outbuildings. Building will come first, but if I hire the Dwarves to do it, it'll go faster. And plus, I'll be adding to the nonhuman economy which is always good.

I can also hire a lot of the Elves that don't work for me already to help move the effects of my servants.

After all that, I can work on the nonhuman district itself. Since I have ownership of the whole place, as my late husband kind of…governed this place…I can do what I want.

Getting every area of the village or town or whatever you want to call it, up to the same quality of life will be the very baseline of what I'm capable of.

What next? I'm not sure. It's not like I can change the whole world with my one little bubble of a village. But…

But I could maybe make a haven. Someplace where it'd be safe to be anyone. Even a monster, so long as you play nice. Doppler's could make their home here and look like anything they want.

Maybe even a few vegetarian Vampires like Regis. Who knows.

I'm getting so far ahead of myself, and I shouldn't.

Sitting up with a groan in bed, I pick up a few pieces of food and eat them as carefully as I can.

I didn't really eat much at dinner, because the thought of getting naked in front of that guy and touching him in any way was grossing me out so much I might've thrown up if I wasn't careful.

There wasn't anything 'wrong' with the way he looked. It wasn't about that. Even if he'd been a very old man, that wouldn't have mattered as much as his disgusting personality and careless disregard for the people under his authority.

The people in this little village are starving, not just the Elves and Dwarves but the Humans, too.

Poverty-stricken, guardsmen whose only charge is to enforce the will of their 'ruler'…it's about as bad as it gets.

Guess in the morning I'll have to have a talk with a few people about what to do about that.


	9. Chapter 9

I had to write a letter to my mother in law after she'd left.

Waited about two weeks to send it. Had to really make it look good.

After the doctor looked me over and determined that the marriage had been consummated- I was the lady of the house.

But the family was still around for the wedding, of course. So I had to wait. A while. For them to. Leave.

Two months in fact.

TWO. MONTHS.

Two months in which I had to behave as small and sad as possible so that everyone would believe I was in mourning and also that I was not going to challenge the authority of my mother in law.

I had to make a big deal about throwing myself into my work to cope just so I could make the arrangements for my servants to be moved onto the property with all their things.

The homes weren't totally finished in two months time, but they were finished enough that people could start living in them. They'd just have to put up with the Dwarves coming over during the day to work on them and they weren't in their houses during the day _anyway_ , so…

The reason nobody wanted to tell me what my husband did is because he was in charge of this whole place. The entire village. And it was poverty-stricken. Only he himself was well-cared for and he apparently had a bad reputation because where he lives is so run-down.

You'd think that'd be a cue to help the people so that the place around him could be more pleasant to live in and impress all his noble friends, but nope!

So first thing I had to do directly after my mother in law was gone was to fire everyone I needed to fire, and hire everyone to replace them that I possibly could.

There were a…lot of people in the manor and around the village that were bad at their jobs and furthermore- were discriminatory.

The letter I wrote to my mother in law excused my behavior by making it about Bradbert and how much I supposedly missed him. 'I can't stand to look at them, they remind me that he's gone!' or something. I don't remember. I agonized over the entire operation, including the letter and then immediately forgot the contents because it didn't really matter.

I have a copy up in my room to read before my mother in law ever comes to visit again. I want to be sure I didn't say anything that she can catch me out on not knowing about. That could cause problems.

She might think I had someone else writing the letters and that I didn't even bother to have them read back to me or that I am mentally deficient somehow- and I don't want to give anyone any reason to seize this estate and all the power I've just been given.

"Excuse us, milady," one of my servants walks into the open parlor with a messenger behind them. "This young man has a report to make."

I turn toward them and then tilt my head at him. "Go ahead."

"The new guardsmen have noticed an increase in the nonhuman population," he begins. "Mainly elves, but also a few dwarves. They all seem to be hardened fighters, judging by their scars and the guardsmen say they look like they can handle a sword."

My heart throbs in my chest.

_Scoia'tael_.

"Alright. Make sure nobody gets into a conflict with any of them unless they make trouble first. If they commit some kind of crime, bring them to me- don't send them through the usual process. Special considerations have to be made in this situation," I say.

"Yes, ma'am, I will tell the new captain," the young man says before turning on his heel and speedily walking out.

Somehow I think maybe I was supposed to dismiss him- the servant looks scandalized.

I laugh a little. "I wonder how long it'll take him to realize what he just did."

She tries valiantly to hide her mirth, but her lips wobble and her eyes sparkle so I know she'd laugh too if she didn't think it was inappropriate.

"Anyway, make sure all the excess food from the manor is heading down to the nonhuman district like I asked," I say. "With so many more mouths to feed, they might be feeling the strain. Maybe make a few loaves of bread and some extra cheese to tide them over."

"Yes, my lady and what about the funds for the exports?" she asks. "In order to sell our goods somewhere we have to pay to transport them but we're a bit short."

I frown. "I budgeted that out myself with the head maid and butler guy."

She clears her throat. "Somehow the funds were…misplaced, and we do not know how to find them."

Misplaced my ass.

Someone stole the money that was going toward exporting goods. Which is probably why our carriages get attacked and overwhelmed and robbed so often.

That was one of the things about my husband that no one respected. He couldn't even protect his people's enterprises.

The merchants here are at his mercy and they can't leave as this is where the stuff is produced.

"Go to the nonhuman district and enlist that…god, what was his name…Sheindo?" I muse. "Hire him to look over our finances."

"There are many reputable human financiers," the servant says.

"Are you questioning me?" I ask.

She snaps-to. "No, milady. I will see to it at once."

"Alright, go ahead," I reply.

She sweeps out of the room and I feel a bit off about the whole situation.

Sure, she's human and biased but she's also working class and I just used my power to make her afraid for her job. All the servants are probably confused by their pay raises, the sudden influx of new people working on the grounds…

They might think I assume that nonhumans are just more capable than humans- (which is probably true, because they're the ones who have to actually work for approval unlike humans who just do the baseline of what's acceptable…) -so they feel like they have to prove themselves.

Honestly I'm just trying to stimulate the economy. Putting more money into poor and disadvantaged people's hands helps everyone. That's how an economy _works_ and I can't believe that people actually think hoarding wealth gets them more wealth than they'd have if they paid fair wages and did their actual jobs of governance.

For now though, I need extra money to go into guarding those shipments…


	10. Chapter 10

In the end, the influx of new people was to my benefit. Especially _because_ they had so much training in warcraft.

I was able to hire a bunch of the ex-scoia'tael to guard my village merchants' shipments and also to train the servants in my employ who wanted to learn to use weapons.

It was still something of a secret that they were being trained, but an open secret. Everyone in the manor knows, but they also know I don't want it getting out just yet.

I had to house some guests the other day and they had to be very carefully maneuvered away from the grounds and told that there were renovations underway so it wasn't safe.

Which was true, but also the elves and dwarves were training out there with axes and swords and bows. So. Even more unsafe than usual.

It was someone I had to host, though. I had trade agreements to go over with them.

Especially considering the sudden influx of money I just got my hands on.

Apparently my husband was squirreling away a bunch of money and took it from wherever the fuck he wanted, whenever was convenient to him. He had one of his butlers do all the accounting on it and after his death, the Butler just did as usual.

I had him demoted because nobody even told him to do that and I was not informed of the arrangement.

Couldn't just fire him outright, it was his previous employer's doing. What was he gonna do? Say no and get fired and possible be blacklisted and unable to get another job?

Butlers aren't servants, they have a whole different…thing. It's like a job culture. If they're disgraced, they can't just switch jobs like a maid can.

Sort of like how a Lady's Maid is a daughter of a lower house of nobility and has a lot riding on her position. Butlers are kinda the same.

For the moment, I'm just hoping I can get everything progressing so much that nobody thinks it's odd anymore.

"My lady…?" someone calls out to me as I walk past a group of new servants getting acclimated to our system- in the yard where everyone's moving in.

I turn and tilt my head. Smiling.

The woman takes several very quick steps toward me and then stops suddenly about halfway over. She looks like she's seeing a ghost. "…Belle?"

"Yes?" I say in recognition of her calling my name. "Do you need something?"

"No, ma'am," another woman comes up and holds her shoulders. "Just making certain we got the name right, we wouldn't wish to insult you by calling it incorrectly."

I chuckle a bit at that. "No need to worry about that. Just default to 'my lady' and nobody will notice. It's respectful enough that people won't even think twice about it. Also, you don't have to worry about it. Unless you're trying _real_ hard, I don't think it's possible for you to actually insult me."

"Miss?" the first woman asks, still looking kind of pale. It's worse now. "What do you mean?"

I frown and cross my arms. "I don't mind if people get my name wrong and have to be corrected, cause I'm not a complete dickhead. I was raised poor, not noble. I'm sure that's hard for a lot of people to believe considering everyone seems to think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth…basically- you'd have to actually be trying to insult me, to actually insult me. And even then I might not care. Sometimes people say mean, insulting things. You don't have to react to them."

The second woman smiles tremulously and pulls her pale friend away. "Thank you for explaining, my lady. We've got to go now and return to our…"

"You guys are ex-Scoia'Tael, right?" I ask.

They go still and stare at me. Both pale now.

I smile broadly. "It's okay, it's just…do you know anything about the group that went up to Vergen?"

"Vergen, my lady?" the original pale one asks urgently. "What interest have you in Iorveth's men?"

Just hearing his name is a balm to my frazzled nerves. Knowing he's really REAL.

"I think Saskia pulled some bullshit and I wanna kick her ass but since I can't do that right now," I begin. "I know they're probably on the run…in danger…I just want…do you think there's anything I can do to help them?"

They're both staring at me.

The second woman tilts her head at me. "Why would you want to do that?"

I glance down and then back up at her. She deserves for me to give her my full attention when I answer.

"You've been used, cast aside and hunted like dogs," I say. "I think it's about time someone did something for you without expecting a favor they have no intention of returning."

"My…lady…" the first woman's voice is wobbly. "Do…do you know them?"

"I know…of them?" I say uncertainly. "Are you alright? Do you need sleep, or to eat something? Head Servant Lady! I forgot your name, damn. Yes, you. Can you see to it that these two are given some time to eat and sleep before they take on their new duties, I think they might be ill."

I turn away from them as the head servant walks over and takes charge of them.

They were _also_ replaced, as I didn't like the fact that the old head servant was both human and kind of corporal in their punishments. I didn't really need to meet them before I gave them the boot. All the bruises and scrapes on the servants that were explained as 'discipline' spoke volumes.

Everyone else seems to tell Scoia'Tael apart by the fact that they're built tough and walk around a certain way apparently? I don't know much about swords, but when I observe the differences in their gait versus other people, I've got to admit it's different.

Me, I just look for the tattoos. The leaves.

It seems like nobody else can see them? Or something? It's weird. Or maybe it's just a general 'elf thing' and not a 'scoia'tael thing'…?

Hmmm. Anyway, I need to find that Financier dude, he's here somewhere. I'm renovating the nonhuman district so that more can move in there and won't be living in disgusting conditions…

But to do that, I need money and to get money I need someone to fix my budget.

Ah, there he is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY have an update schedule that works for me. I have like ten chapters ahead written for some stories so that's why you see them so often. On some stories I only have like five ahead so I sprinkle those in more sparsely-- and then you've got the two-offs where I've only got one finished now and finish one later and then shove it into the thing.
> 
> I've got the whole month plotted out, two definite updates every wednesday with space for a third in case I'm in the groove-- two updates of Unwritten every saturday. I wish I could just focus on one or two other side stories the way I can with Unwritten but I think the only reason I'm still able to keep going is BECAUSE of this weird way I do things, so.
> 
> *shrugs*


	11. Iorveth POV

"What…are you saying?" I question them with a low tone. "Belle is dead."

Just having to say the words, it…

The gaping hole in my being that I'd almost forgotten about in the moment, stretches wide once again and attempts to swallow me whole.

Breathing deeply, I try to keep my head above the inky darkness. I have not let it totally consume me yet, and I will…not…now.

"I swear on my mothers' grave, it was her!" Visenna insists. "She even _asked_ about us- right to our faces, with no recognition in her eyes. As if we were some interesting story she'd heard about but not people she knew."

Visenna's face crumples in sorrow, "she didn't know me! She looked right at me and didn't know me!"

' _It can't be her. A look-alike? It's possible. We've been grieving for months. To an elf that is no time at all. Especially not for losing someone like her._ '

( _Like hell I'll let you do that!_ ) her voice echoes from within my mind. ( _Get away from him!_ )

"The only way to be certain is to look for ourselves," my lieutenant, Suran speaks up. "I know I came along on the tail-end of the journey with her, so I don't know much about her…but I'd certainly be able to tell her apart from someone who-"

"I will go," I say and turn on my heel. "If that will convince you all, I will do it. She is _gone_. She would not…she would not have left us to live a safe life elsewhere with nary a word. We saw her die. _We_ _saw it_."

That day is seared upon the backs of my eyes. I will continue to see her falling, falling, for the rest of my life.

Dying to save someone else is supposed to be a noble end. Something that people write songs about. But the only ones writing songs for her, will be the Scoia'tael and we have been too deep in mourning to care for that pursuit.

Everything else that happened…just made it worse.

She warned me about Saskia, in her own way, but I did not listen. Both she _and_ Geralt. The only two humans- or I suppose, human and former human -that had ever gained my respect. My trust.

My friendship.

( _You'd teach me? I've always wanted to learn to sword fight!_ ) She'd _bounced_ when I offered her that Cutlass. I thought it might suit her better than any other sword. Always, always she was rushing straight into danger with a plan flickering behind her beautiful green eyes-

Closing my eyes as I walk, I lift a hand and press my fingertips into my face at key points to release pressure. I'm getting a headache already.

They let me go without argument. They know how this weighs upon me. Visenna likely would've never told me if she hadn't been so shocked by the whole ordeal…and aggrieved at the thought of being forgotten by a comrade.

I needn't go in disguise, but it would be wise to avoid full exposure as of yet.

This woman who has welcomed us into her lands, we have no way of knowing what her limit will be. Asking after myself and my men…does not necessarily mean she wishes us to be allies.

Humans are cunning, I have always known this. While they smile to your face, they plot to stab you in the back. That is the way it has always been.

And after Saskia, after…the betrayal of a fellow nonhuman to secure their own place- yet again. Not even my people this time, and yet they felt-

It is difficult to trust anyone. Especially an unknown entity. If it were Belle in front of me right now, I may even hesitate then, and Belle was…inviolable.

I have been through too much, been betrayed too often- and she is gone.

' _And if it_ _ **is**_ _her?_ '

I stop in the middle of the clearing I've walked into and sit upon the ground. I am close enough to camp for them to hear me.

Far enough away that they can ignore any small sounds I make or words I speak.

But still I do not speak aloud, or move. I simply stare at the earth beneath me. Grass and wildflowers everywhere. As far as my eyes can see.

' _They said there was no recognition in her face. Is it possible she survived with some sort of injury to her head?_ '

She fell from so high up. The descent seemed to take forever.

That damned phoenix, when it charged over that cliff and she had to stop one of my fool men from following it…

I was _certain_ from the moment she fell, that she was dead.

And still we searched.

We found no body, saw no blood.

Found the ashes of the Phoenix where it must have died after the battle it was in- but no newborn hatchling.

The ashes were disturbed as if some animal had come to investigate and made off with it.

But no body. No Belle.

Perhaps that means there _is_ a possibility.

Even if her body lives, if her mind is gone…Belle is still dead.

It doesn't matter if her mannerisms are the same.

( _Stop fussing with your braids, Belle. You need to look sophisticated to pull this off._ )

Or if she can swordfight.

( _Your footwork is sloppy. You learn quickly but you're a complete novice._ )

Or even if she takes control of an entire village in order to give alms to nonhumans.

( _I never imagined your hobbies would include blackmailing Aristocrats._ ) I'd been so amused that day…

In the end, she is not the same person anymore.

So if it _is_ her…I suppose we will have to live with that.

And what it means.

As for now…I will need to find a way to infiltrate the manse myself.

She has been hiring many ex-Scoia'tael with experience in battle to guard her mansion and the agents I sent…implied that there were lessons taking place within.

But no. I do not want to go in disguise.

If she _is_ Belle, I want her to know my face, even if she's forgotten…and if she isn't…I need to test her.


	12. Chapter 12

"What?" I ask the servant. The same one who was pale and shaking the other day. She looks much better now. What was her name…

"I have confirmed the sightings with many of the former Scoia'tael who now work or live within the Duchy," she says. "It is him. We do not know why he is here. The Shadows would like to know what to do about this?"

They call themselves something else in Elder Speech. I call them Shadows because I don't know Elder Speech and I'd just embarrass myself if I started speaking it carelessly right now.

They're a special unit I formed to watch over my Duchy. Yes. My Duchy. Because this place, this poverty-stricken place…is a _Duchy_.

All I've ever known about Duchies is that they're huge, they're wealthy and even if there might be poor and homeless- they aren't supposed to make up but a half of the Duchy itself at the _most_. And yet. This place has a population of impoverished poor and almost nobody beneath the Duke or Duchess position with enough power and influence to sit on the ruling council that is supposed to exist.

So now I know my 'husband' had a two-fold plan. Steal money for money's sake and also so nobody else can be in control of the Duchy.

So. Step one to revitalizing the Duchy is:

Get Trade up and Running Again.

And step two would be:

Make Sure the Right People Come Into Power.

So basically I have to earn LOTS of money, and then give a BUNCH of it to whoever I think would use it in the best interests of the Duchy, and elevate them to a councilor position.

As far as I can tell, rules about who can and can't own land come down from on high- from a king or something. But since my Duchy is not currently ruled over by any king, as he died during the events of the Witcher 2…

That means I can do what I want, here. I just have to be certain not to offend any visiting dignitaries and keep my Duchy small enough that nobody is going to be interested in its wealth or resources…

Technically if another King or Queen were to claim my lands after subsuming someone else, it'd be a problem. But apparently this Duchy is so incredibly poor that nobody wanted it- and in fact everyone who could possibly claim it has run out of time to do so.

So now, we're independent. I could declare myself a fucking Queen. Jesus.

"Alright," I sigh heavily. "If Iorveth causes any kind of trouble while he's here, just pull everyone away from him. Avoid him at all costs. Whether he kills them or they kill him…it'll be a loss either way. I don't want to lose anything just because of a misunderstanding. Alright? Also, tell them to tighten up security at the borders. If Iorveth is here, his unit might be too. They might've been chased by the Blue Stripes or some other human military unit."

"A loss, Duchess?" she addresses me. "What do you mean, his death will be a loss?"

Does she have a weird tone of voice? She _looks_ perfectly normal now.

"I'm not out to kill Scoia'tael or make them my enemy. If one of their most famous commanders gets killed while in my Duchy, what will that say to the rest of them about me?" I ask. "I'll have a reputation. I don't want them avoiding this place just because of some accident that could've been prevented."

"How does that help you, Duchess?" she asks then bows. "You needn't explain it to me, but I am confused. Our people are not usually this welcomed into human territories."

I don't blame her for asking the question. It's actually a little suspicious, now that I think about it. She should be too afraid of rocking the boat. She certainly seemed that way the other day. Maybe I validated her trust in me somehow?

"Our Duchy is almost broke," I say. "In order to fix it, we need not only money but also more people and labor. More jobs. The more people come in, the more labor I have. The more labor I have, the more money I can give them. The more money I give them, the more they buy- and the more taxes are paid to me for keeping up the Duchy. And considering our rather weak martial strength, accepting those experienced in warcraft is just a win for us. We'll be well protected so long as you consider this a worthy place to protect."

She bows again. "Yes. Thank you for explaining. That makes sense. What should I tell them to do if the human militaries who might be following…come?"

"Tell them to inform their commander that they are not allowed entrance unless the Duchess allows it, and they are to send a sealed letter to me so I can decide whether or not to let them in. If they ask why the security measures, let them know that we've discovered someone was stealing money from the Duchy and they're at large. We want to make sure they don't come back with a fully financed army and take us over."

It's a flimsy excuse and that is exactly what I need. I need the men coming to know that these people are under my protection, but still give it that veneer of 'I totally have an official reason' so they can't just immediately call me out.

If they did, that's besmirching the name of a noble and I could have them beheaded. I wouldn't do that to someone just asking questions or asserting their opinion, but to protect the Scoia'tael…yes. I think I could do it.

"Anyway, don't let in anyone who looks too noble- or military minded humans who seem suspicious. If they're refugees or have gone AWOL, let them in, but have the Shadows watch them."

"Ay…wall…my lady?" she asks.

"It uh. It means if they ran away from the army," I say. Damn. I keep using modern slang and shit and people are gonna call me a witch before long.

"I will relay your orders, but," she pauses. "My lady, do you realize there are many beyond the Duchy walls? They are likely waiting for their people to come back and give the all clear. What should be done about them?"

I feel like I'm being tested, but that's a reasonable question, so I shake it off.

"Well of course we'll redraw our territorial lines according to where our people are and what's been left unclaimed… have somebody bring me a map and someone who knows what territories were and weren't claimed. Thank you."

She takes my dismissal, bowing again and then exiting the room.

Something about her seems…kinda familiar. Beyond that first meeting in the courtyard. But I just can't put my _finger_ on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my new Mandalorian Din Djarin Reader Insert called My Deadly Escapades!


	13. Iorveth POV

Allowing my presence to be known was easy enough.

Walk about on the street for even a moment and _someone_ will notice you. Especially if your face is on wanted posters in every little village from here to Nilfgaard.

After my jaunt about the village, I ducked into one of the abandoned homes in the nonhuman district- or rather what _used_ to be the nonhuman district- and changed my attire.

Hiding half of my face is quite easy even without using an eyepatch or piece of cloth. Wearing my hair down for the first time in…how long has it been? Months?

( _Holy mother fucking shit, and people still call you ugly?! Who cares about scars when your hair is literally the night sky, I swear to god-_ )

Scoffing and dipping my head to pull the hood I'm wearing more securely down over my face, I try to wave the memory away.

Belle was always very brash and always spoke her mind.

She did not recognize me until I spoke, so one could say I _startled_ her into honesty but truthfully she was always like that.

"Begging your pardon, mum," I speak with a husk in my voice. Calling out to an Elven woman on the street, who is selling jewelry. Likely made with specific techniques our people hold dear. And she's selling them for a pittance…

"Oh? Are you looking for jewelry?" her eyes are wide with hope and bright with forced cheer.

"I was rather hoping to get some information, actually," I reply. "I had heard the Duchess here just got married and her husband died a rather tragic death. Do you know what exactly happened?"

She eyes the coin I flip about in my hands. It's one of the gold we were able to get for the jeweled hairpieces. She'd be set for months, if not years, if she could use this piece in the right way. Or she could buy a house, perhaps.

Tragic, really. No matter what she pays, she will never truly own it, so long as humans are in power.

"The Lady Belle?" she asks.

My jaw twitches.

The same name, means nothing. I knew from my agents earlier reports that she had the same name. It isn't a surprise...

"Yes, her," I nod. "Do you know anything? Or anyone who _would_ know? I would like to rest here, but not without knowing what I am walking into."

She glances around. "Well…rumors say she and her husband adored each other."

Hmmm.

"And the husband, what was he like?" I ask.

I have this odd feeling. Something seems off. Belle hates nobles. So if it _is_ her, something else is going on. And if it isn't, something…still feels very strange.

"Oh he was," she begins strong but loses enthusiasm halfway through her sentence. "Well, we've never been a very prosperous little Duchy. But I heard he always eats meat and has the finest clothes and jewels. So just like every other human noble, I suppose."

It can't be _my_ Belle. She would have been physically ill just being in the presence of one such as that. She has been before. Clenching her fists, going pale-

( _I don't have any love for Saskia but you turned on your ally and tried to kill her for literally_ _ **no**_ _reason! For all you knew, she would've defended you! She might've stayed loyal! God I hate this bullshit. I don't like any of you, I'm just here because Iorveth seems to think Saskia is worth something and_ _ **still**_ _-_ )

Always _always_ so _blunt_.

"It's so strange, though," the woman goes on. "She suddenly uprooted all the Elves in the Nonhuman district and started contracting out all the dwarves. Apparently they're building houses on the estate grounds for her servants…and she's hiring what seem to be Scoia'tael or runaways to be her guards!"

She may have entirely forgotten the promise of coin at this point. Now it's simply an interesting story.

But…well, that _does_ sound like something Belle might do. She only ever trusted the Scoia'tael or Geralt. Not mentioning the Bard and the Dwarf…she'd likely wish to surround herself with those she considers trustworthy and honorable if she were…

"Do they say what killed the Duke?" I ask.

"It's such a sordid tale," she says with a little quirk of her mouth. "Apparently he went and popped off in the middle of consummation. What a way to go, eh?"

She killed him.

I have to force myself to suck my teeth instead of smiling.

It's Belle.

I don't know anyone else who would do these precise things. In this exact way.

Surrounding themselves with Scoia'tael, killing their husband on the wedding night and somehow being savvy enough to _get away with it_ …

It's possible it could still be someone else very similar. With the same name and appearance. But I highly doubt it.

And amnesia _would_ explain why she's here and did not return to us.

I mostly find this funny because Belle outlined this very strategy to someone once. Our men were ringed around a fire and someone from Vergen, a human woman- said something about what she could do for the 'cause'.

The way the question was asked and how she obviously didn't expect to have to work that hard for it, irritated me.

Belle though, she had an answer.

( _Marry someone powerful. Kill them. Take all their money. Use it to fix the world. If you're not willing to go through all those steps to help, then I dunno what to tell you, hon. It's hard to be a good person._ )

I remember laughing harder at that than anything else that had happened to amuse me in _years_.

Still remember the way Belle stared at me with wide eyes like I'd just threatened to kill her.

Except she never reacted that way to my threats.

"I see," I flick the coin at her and she catches it eagerly. "One last question then."

She looks up at me, while weighing the coin in her hand, cautious as is sensible. "What is it?"

"They say Iorveth was spotted in these parts," I say and make certain my hair is covering my scars. "What was her response to that?"

The elven woman hums and pops the coin into a hidden compartment in her blouse. "I don't know. I didn't think anything was going on but then my husband mentioned that there were a lot of ex-scoia'tael out in the brush. On guard duty, I think. Seems foolish to guard against Scoia'tael with Scoia'tael but she's a noble. It's possible she thinks money is enough."

It's as I feared.

Belle is protecting me. Protecting _us_.

It makes no sense to put people _outside_ when I was spotted _inside_ unless you're trying to keep away any pursuers.

This is a message to us. 'You are safe here'. And considering Belle apparently can't even remember us-

No, it isn't strange. Even before we met, Belle had been rescuing nonhumans and standing up for the poor. So it isn't as though this isn't typical behavior…

But if she remembers her name and her personality is intact…what happened to her? Why doesn't she remember _us_? And if she doesn't, why is she asking questions about us?

"Thank you for your time," I say airily and then merge with the general thoroughfare.

I suppose now all that's left is to confirm it with my own eyes…


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, for those of you who don't know, my grandmother is in the hospital. The only way I can do announcements is to update my stories, so I'll be putting this message on all three of my updates today.
> 
> Things are looking good, but they could still go bad. I have no idea what kind of mood I'm going to be in or whether I'll be able to write at all. So if I suddenly disappear and stop updating a few times, you guys will know it has something to do with my family crisis.

"Oof," I grumble as I enter my bedroom, untying the laces of my corset as I go. The laces are long enough that I can grab hold of the ends behind me and yank to undo them.

Normally I'd _never_ wear a Corset this tight- it's barely tight at all but usually I wear them just for the _Aesthetic_ and not to actually give me any kind of hourglass figure.

My waist is already tucked in an hourglass shape, though you can't usually tell from the side cause my stomach is a little…paunchy. So I let the servants tighten it up enough that you can barely tell my stomach is at all paunchy when someone important visits because it's what they're expecting.

It'd just take one word to my mother-in-law about how I'm 'falling to pieces' and 'letting myself go' and shit and she'd tromp on over to take control.

And she'd be allowed, too.

"Hm," a voice in my room says.

For a moment my brain doesn't really register it and I drop the corset before realizing no servants should be in my room right now.

The way I freeze and turn my head is…weird.

Usually I jump when I'm startled…don't I?

"So," a familiar voice says. Attached to a familiar face.

He steps away from the window where he obviously gained entrance to my bedroom and leans on the wall, crossing his arms.

"Eh?" I can only make a funny noise and tilt my head at him like some kinda bird.

"Taking off your corset is still the first thing you do at the end of the day. Funny that," says Iorveth.

Like he knows me. Like he knows me well enough to have seen me take my clothes off. Every day. For a while.

"Uh-I-uh. I think you have the wrong room," I say squeakily.

Oh my god I sound like a deranged _chipmunk_ but my brain is getting signals and I don't know what to do with them.

"No, it's the right room," he says and stares at me.

The look in his eye though, it's…not teasing or playful. Or flirty at all. Not the way my brain insists it should be as he is _in_ my room, implied he's been there before and seems… _very comfortable_?

He seems sad. And so my brain kicks into another gear.

"Is there something you need?" I ask. "How can I help you?"

His eyes have a deeper sadness now and I don't know what I did but I wanna take it back. I've never _seen_ Iorveth looking _sad_ before. I've seen sassy, angry and even neutral in the game, but sad?

Maybe slightly upset or down but- _sad_. No.

"Belle," he says. Indulgently, like this has happened before. "What have I told you about sympathizing with people who break into your room? Your house? Your camp? How many times have we had this talk?"

My whole body goes still, I don't breathe, and I feel like my brain stopped working.

"Ih?" is the only noise I can make.

"I know you don't remember, but considering how you reacted to being startled by me I thought perhaps…something might have sunk in beyond that," he says.

"What the hell are you talking about?" it comes out quiet only because I feel like I'm not breathing.

"You and I know each other, don't you recall anything about it at all?" He pushes off the wall and walks slowly toward me but stops about two strides away from me. "We were comrades. Friends, even. Do you recognize my face?"

"I-c. Of cour- You're on. On the posters-" I try to get out words but it's hard with him so close.

"Not from there," he says. His one good eye is staring at me, intently. "You really don't remember. This is how you reacted the first time we were alone after we met. Flustered, nervous. You told me I was your hero."

And all my organs just drop to the floor. All of them. My heart, my stomach, my brain. They're gone now.

"You're looking at me like that again. So you haven't forgotten everything," he says. And still looks at me searchingly. "You act like yourself, do things I'd expect you to do. So it's only your time with the Scoia'tael that you've forgotten. Do you know why?"

My whole world is upside down.

He hasn't mistaken me for somebody else, that much is _very_ clear. He knows who I am, sought me out specifically and is _disappointed_ that I apparently developed some kind of amnesia.

"I…I don't…that's not possible!" I suddenly burst. "Amnesia doesn't work like that! I remember my life and who I am, I just. I just don't remember what you're talking about. That…it doesn't work like that…"

One of his hands lifts and I almost die on the spot when he cups my chin and his thumb brushes along my chin and jaw. "I didn't realize how much I missed this look in your eyes," he says.

Everything is very confusing and upsetting and honestly the only thing grounding me to reality is his grip on my chin and _that_ just sends me into another spiral- it's a horrible cycle!

Or a _fucking fantastic_ one, I haven't decided yet.

' _He's_ _ **touching**_ _me._ _ **Why**_ _is he_ _ **touching**_ _me!?_ '

"Nothing," he murmurs, that sadness still ever-present in his eye.

He steps away and I'm still too shell-shocked to stop him when he makes for the window and climbs out.

"What the fuck," I say into the emptiness of my room. "What the fuck what the fuck, whatthefuck, whathefuckwhatthefuck-"

I have to stop myself from cursing further because the door is knocked on by one of the servants and I have to let them in to prepare my bath.

They scold me for leaving my Corset on the floor and I apologize because what the hell am I supposed to tell them!?

'Oh I didn't pick it up because there was a strange man in my room and I didn't call for the guards because I didn't feel threatened at all by this strange man who broke into my room'? It'd be all over everywhere tomorrow that I already had a lover and-

Fuck, if people wrote to my mother-in-law about _that_ I'd be _screwed_.

I really hope the next time he tries to break in, he does it during daytime.

' _You should really be hoping there's not a next time,_ ' one of my inner voices tries to counsel me. But another has something else to say. ' _God I hope he touches me again, he ToUcHeD me._ '

I flop into bed after my bath and decide to feel miserable about this because there is no way in hell this isn't bad news for me.

If there's things I don't remember about myself and my journeys through this world, that means there's things that could trip me up.

Gotta find an actual witch or sorceress or _something_ tomorrow…

The Sorceress Lodge is probably being hunted down right now. I could probably somehow put the word out that this is more than just a sanctuary for nonhumans…

Yeah…and I could even have my people mention that Dopplers and vegetarian vampires are even allowed, too…

' _Stop doing six things at once! You have no memory of IORVETH. Fucking Iorveth KNOWS you. And knows you well enough to TOUCH your FACE. Focus on recovering_ _ **YOUR GODDAMN MEMORIES.**_ '

All this internal screaming is making me tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to help out my family, please check my Tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to comment! It motivates me!


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